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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26737504">may these words be the first to find your ears</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/favorroses/pseuds/favorroses'>favorroses</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Leviathan Lavellan [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Canon Backstory, Character Death, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Pre-Dragon Age: Inquisition, Young Inquisitor (Dragon Age), his husband dies, its real sad, leviathan lavellans shitshow of a backstory, this is me slowly writing leviathans backstory</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 10:27:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,099</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26737504</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/favorroses/pseuds/favorroses</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Title inspired by light from sleeping at last : https://open.spotify.com/track/5uq3x8Pg8HAj8qNwPFOzfl?si=cYokrv93QmWPVtVdGsY5gQ </p>
<p>With every heartbeat I have left<br/>I will defend your every breath<br/>And I'll do better<br/>'Сause you are loved<br/>You are loved more than you know<br/>I hereby pledge all of my days<br/>To prove it so<br/>Though your heart is far too young to realize<br/>The unimaginable light you hold inside<br/>I'll give you everything I have<br/>I'll teach you everything I know<br/>I promise I'll do better<br/>I will always hold you close<br/>But I will learn to let you go<br/>I promise I'll do better<br/>I will rearrange the stars<br/>Pull 'em down to where you are<br/>I promise I'll do better<br/>With every heartbeat I have left<br/>I'll defend your every breath<br/>I promise I'll do better.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Male Lavellan/Male Lavellan, Male Lavellan/Original Character(s), Male Lavellan/Original Male Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Leviathan Lavellan [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1675144</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>may these words be the first to find your ears</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div>
  <p>A frustrated growl was heard from his son before he took off away from the camp. Esha’lin’an always had his other fathers’ short temper. Arden can’t help the sigh that leaves his lips, shaking his head and following after his son, worried. He wasn’t quite sure as to what sparked his sons quick temper, but, he was worried that Esha’lin'an was hiding something from them both again. The last time that was true, he almost got himself killed, hiding away from the clan, and their hunters, all because he was terrified over something he found out about himself. Arden still never quite knew exactly <em>what</em> it was that he was scared of, but he had confided in Leviathan, his other father, and it seemed to be alright after that.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Now? He wasn’t quite sure that was the case.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Arden ignored the cries from his husband behind him, rushing through the forest behind his son. He <em>knew</em> it wasn’t wise to chase him blindly in the forest, unarmed and armor-less, but damn him for not leaving his son alone. Sticks broke beneath his weight as he stepped on them, the cracks of the wood being heard by any that were around him. Looking around, Arden continues to search for Esha’lin’an, looking for the stark white of his hair. At the sight of the white, he again takes off after it, worried that the boy would again get himself into trouble.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>And of course, as suspected, trouble was what he got into. </p>
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  <p> </p>
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  <p>Arden finally catches up to the boy, ready to reprimand him for running off like that, only to be faced with a group of bandits. Grabbing his son's arm, he pushes him back towards camp, urging him to run, face blank and serious. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
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  <p> “<em>Go. Warn the others. I’ll be right behind you.</em>”  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Esha’lin’an nods, knowing better to listen to his father right now, and taking off. Arden turns back to the group of bandits, knowing that he was horrible outnumbered. One unarmed man against 5 armed ones? Not much held him the winning ballot. Taking a breath, he runs the other way, hoping that the group would follow. An arrow is shot at him, and flies by his face, landing into the tree beside him. Grinning, he continues to run through the trees, hopping up and climbing up one, before looking down at the confused group under him. Arden quickly counts the group under him, and his heart sinks when he only counts 4, not 5. Panicking, he rushes down the tree and runs towards the direction his son went. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Ripping one of the stray arrows from a tree, he continues to rush ahead, his heart racing. Catching up, he spots a bandit with a bow ready, aimed at his son. Sneaking up behind them, he takes the arrows and stabs the man in the neck, taking his bow and quiver, and shooting him again with another arrow. Ripping the arrow from the bandits' neck, he readies the bow for the others he knew were coming. As the others come, he shoots them down, one in the eye, then the shoulder, another in the chest, then the other two in the legs. They would die slowly, a death they well deserved. Tossing the bow and quiver to the side, he rushes to his son to check if he was alright.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“<em>Babae, I’m fine- they didn’t get me-" </em>Esha’lin’an sighs as his father checks for injuries, looking in the direction of where the bandits lay. If his father hadn’t have gone after him… He shakes his head, not <em>wanting</em> to think about what could have happened. He quirks a brow, confused as if he saw movement. Arden tilts his head, looking in the direction he was looking at, and freezes. Time seems to move at a snail's pace, as he covers his son’s body with his own, then he’s hit with an arrow, and all he can hear is screaming.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>---</p>
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  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Arden gasps for breath as he snaps his eyes open. Sitting up, he looks around him at his surroundings. The bandits, dead, all covered in multiple stab wounds. Esha’lin’an, his son, by his side, grasping his hand, covered in blood. Arden gives a squeeze back, and a soft smile, before the pain hits him like a ton of bricks. Looking down, all he can see is his once green tunic stained with red, and his vision blurs and spins. Creators, what had happened? </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Da’ean, Some help, please? We.. need to get back. Warn them.” He whispers softly, careful to not speak too loudly. Arden holds his head with a hand in an attempt to get the world around him to stop spinning, with little luck. Creators. They really needed to get back soon. Esha’lin’an nods, helping his father up and putting his arm over his shoulders, and his own around his father's waist, before helping him slowly walk back to camp.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The walk is thankfully not too far- less than an hour away- but to Arden, it feels like days. As the pair walked, his head continued to spin, making it even harder to tell the way back. Every couple of minutes they stop, allowing Arden to catch his breath, followed by a cough before they continued their walk back home. The pair hoped they weren’t being followed by anything- or anyone- who meant harm. The last thing the clan needed was someone coming to attack. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Arden continued to drift in and out of consciousness as they walked, Esha’lin’an almost having to fully carry his father back home at times. For every step, he stumbled, sometimes almost tripping. Arden was grateful his son was there at his side, worried that if he wasn’t, he wouldn’t have made the trip back. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>——</p>
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  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Leviathan paced around the aravel, worried. Arden and Esha’lin’an should have come back hours ago. Worry flew through his mind as he thought of all the scenarios that could have happened to them. Creators, he knew he should have gone with them, chased further. His heart had sunk when he watched them run away from camp and sunk even further when he could no longer see them. He felt foolish to grab his staff, wondering that if he didn’t, he could have caught up with them. He continued to walk in circles, scenarios continuing to brew in his mind. Were they dead? Was he going to have to send a search party for them? Creators, please, don’t be dead. Eireanne watched Levi as he walked around in circles, worried that he would break through the floor. She hadn’t seen him this worried in <em>years,</em> the last time she recalled was when Esha’lin’an ran off 6 years prior. That time, he has Arden, now, he was alone to worry on what had happened to his family. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Levi, isn’t that them?” She comments, looking out the window at the pair coming into the camp. One with short white hair, supporting another with long red hair, covered in blood, arrow sticking out of their chest. Levi stops his pacing to look out the window, then runs out when he confirms who it is, his heart racing as he got closer, taking in more and more. The pair were covered in blood, which caused him to start to panic. There <em>was</em> something wrong, and he wasn’t there to help. Esha’lin’an was holding his father up, the man leaning almost all of his weight into his son's side. Getting closer, Leviathan realizes he’s covered in blood because there’s an arrow sticking out of his lover's chest. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
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  <p>Seeing the panicked look on Leviathans' face, Arden wears a small, pain-filled smile. “Oh, I’m… I’m fine Ara'<em>enlea</em>.” He whispers, taking a hand from his chest to touch the face of his love, trying to reassure him. “I... I just need to lay down…” Levi is quick to his side, helping their son carry him to Eireanne so she can try to heal him. Arden, once seated, starts to cough, moving the arrow that was lodged in his lung, Blood starting to drip from his mouth down his chin. <em>Fenedhis,</em> this wasn’t good. Leviathan worried if the man would even make it through this, his injury looking severe, too severe. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Panic starts to rise quickly in Levi. Coughing blood was never a good sign. Eireanne nudges him to the side so she can try to save Arden. Placing her hands on his chest, she takes the arrow out with a squelching sound, before sending a healing spell into him. It doesn’t do much, but it stabilizes him for now. A few moments pass by, and the twins are about to take a breath of relief before Arden sits up and starts to cough up more blood. Levi’s panic comes right back, fear also added in. Was this how he was going to lose him? Eireanne looks over to her brother again, then back down to Arden, sending yet another healing spell into him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Ar, ma’lath, please,” Levi whimpers, holding his lover's face in his hands, his whole person shaking with his voice. “Please don’t leave me. I’ll rearrange the stars if I have to- bend the creators' will. Anything.” He pauses, hiccuping has he holds tears back. “Just please, don’t leave me. A<em>ne Ara</em><em>’</em><em>sha.</em><em>”</em>Levi leans down, putting his forehead to Ardens, looking into his eyes. Their first comes rushing over, healing salves and herbs in their arms, a potion strapped to their belt. Esha’lin’an takes a step back, leaning against a tree, shock starting to set into his system. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
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  <p>Eireanne and their first continued to try to stabilize Arden, Levi doing <em>anything</em> he could to distract him, Esha’lin’an staring at the ground with guilt and panic on his face. One of the classmates comes over, taking Esha’lin’an away from the scene, wincing when they see the condition of Arden. They rub circles into the young mans’ back, making sure that he was away from what was happening.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Leviathan swears his vision tunnels, all he can think about is just keeping Arden awake, making sure that nothing else happened. Ar reaches up, and holds Levi’s face with a hand, a small pain-filled smile on his face. He coughs again, leaning back and closing his eyes with a soft chuckle, before looking to Levi again.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“<em>Ara</em><em>’</em><em>enlea, Ma Vhen</em><em>’</em><em>an, Ara </em><em>sa'lath. You’re going to need to let me go.”</em> Arden whispers, tears finally falling from his eyes. “<em>You are needed here, this place needs you, this world needs you, Vhen’an.”</em> Leviathan shakes his head, stubborn as ever, and holds the man closer. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“<em>No, No I- won</em><em>’</em><em>t leave you, I can</em><em>’</em><em>t leave you, your side. You said forever, this. </em><em>This</em><em> isn</em><em>’</em><em>t forever, Ara</em><em>’</em><em>sha. I can</em><em>’</em><em>t lose you- </em><em>Mi’nas’sal’inan </em><em>i'tel ma, </em><em>ma'ane ahnsul ar ame amahn.</em><em>”</em>Levi cries, still holding his lover close. Eireanne and the first share a look, shaking their heads. Arden wouldn’t live past today. Eireanne places a soft hand on Levi’s shoulder, who cries harder, holding Arden closer. Creators, he should have been there. Arden reaches up again, pushing Levi’s hair behind his ears with a soft smile. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“<em>I have faith in you, Ara’enlea, that you will make all the right decisions, no matter how difficult they may be. </em><em>You are strong-minded, Leviathan, strong-hearted. You will make it through this, through this life, and then we can meet again. I</em><em>’</em><em>ll be waiting there for you.</em><em>”</em>Arden smiles again, kissing his lover's head, then he was gone. For Levi, everything stopped, the world around him ran in slow motion, as he sat and cried over his husband's body. A few moments passed, before he got up, grabbed his staff, and left, tears still falling from his eyes, and demanded that no one followed. </p>
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  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Levi ran through the forest, tears still falling from his face. It didn’t feel real, nothing did. Not the cries of protest from his clan, his family behind him, not the earth under his feet or the air that he breathed. He ran and ran, until he couldn’t any longer, and was faced with the edge of the forest, a human civilization close by. Taking a few steps back into the forest, he turned around and ran the other way, finding a cave to sit in, collect his thoughts. Sitting down on a cool stone, he leans back against the cave wall and cried again, cried until he couldn’t any longer, one sentence floating around in his mind.</p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
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  <p>
    <em>”Creators I loved you. I loved you so much that nothing else made sense- no, nothing else mattered.”</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Translations: </p>
<p>Babae- Father</p>
<p>Da'ean - little bird</p>
<p>Ara'enlea - my light</p>
<p>ma’lath - my love</p>
<p>Ane Ara’sha - you are my happiness</p>
<p>Ma Vhen’an - my heart</p>
<p>Ara sa'lath - my one love</p>
<p>"Mi’nas’sal’inan i'tel ma, ma'ane ahnsul ar ame amahn" - "I feel the knife once more within my soul without you, you are why im here"</p></blockquote></div></div>
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